


Those Who Won’t Marry You and Those Who Will

by Wilde Hare (casual_distance)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (maybe), AU, M/M, Oblivious Heartbreaker Katsuki Yuuri, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casual_distance/pseuds/Wilde%20Hare
Summary: Based on the prompt: “My ex very loudly informed the whole bar I would never find anyone who would be willing to marry me and now I’m married to a very attractive person I don’t know.” AU
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 15
Kudos: 490
Collections: Anime FF





	Those Who Won’t Marry You and Those Who Will

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Тот, кто женится на тебе](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29115051) by [mommy_Vulture](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mommy_Vulture/pseuds/mommy_Vulture), [WTF Katsudno and Friends and JJ 2021 (WTF_Katsudno_JJ_2021)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTF_Katsudno_JJ_2021/pseuds/WTF%20Katsudno%20and%20Friends%20and%20JJ%202021)



> There is an implied panic attack, but it happens off screen and isn't discussed.

“Yuuri, you can’t let him chase you away from your favorite places.”

“But he’s in there.”

Phichit sighed. He sat down on the curb next to Yuuri, who hunched his shoulders over his knees. His fingers were twisted into the folded hems of his jeans.

“It’s been two months. You didn’t even like him that much.”

Yuuri grimaced and buried his face in his knees.

Phichit rested a hand on his back. “If it really bothers you that much, we can go somewhere else. Just let me grab Leo and Guang Hong.”

“Ugh. No.” Yuuri straightened up. He screwed his face up, clearly trying to force himself under control. “I’m not going to make everyone leave because he’s here.” Yuuri wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Phichit laughed. He patted Yuuri’s shoulder before standing to pull him to his feet. “That’s my boy. Just pretend you don’t even see him. Act like you don’t even know him.”

At that Yuuri grinned. His cheeks were still paler than they should be, but he let Phichit loop their arms together and drag him into the bar.

* * *

Viktor saw him as soon as he walked in. Of course he did. How could he not? The man was perfection walking on earth. He was a living angel. He was art made flesh.

“Viktor, darling, you’re drooling.”

Viktor didn’t bother to answer Christophe. He waved a hand vaguely in his direction and continued to stare as the angel and his friend – please let him be his friend – crossed the bar to join a small group at a booth tucked back in the corner.

A small cheer went up and two of the group got out to exchange hugs with both of the new comers. The angel was pushed into the booth, angled enough toward Viktor that he got to see the man’s face lit up with laughter. Viktor sighed and sank down, happy by proxy that such a wonder was happy.

“You’re ridiculous,” Christophe said as he held a fresh drink up in front of Viktor’s face, finally breaking his attention. “And that’s me telling you that.”

“He’s perfect,” Viktor defended.

Christophe laughed. “He’s beautiful, yes, but for all you know he’s- “ Christophe paused to consider his words. “- he could be a puppy kicker.”

Viktor gasped and glared at his friend. “No one that beautiful could be so cruel.” He snuck a glance over at the booth. The man was listening intently to one of his friends, smiling soft and fond as the woman waved her hands around to demonstrate something beyond Viktor’s understanding. On her other side, another man glared, his arms folded over his chest. No, Viktor’s angel definitely was not anything other than perfect.

When he said so to Christophe, his friend only laughed and turned him so that his back was to the booth and no longer a distraction.

Viktor allowed it given that Christophe was paying for the drinks.

* * *

Yuuri had finally relaxed, finally let himself sink into his drink and not worry about his ex’s presence in the bar when, of course, said man decided to make himself known.

He was clearly drunk, his face flushed bright red and his steps weaving. Yuuri wasn’t sober himself, but he had always held his liquor better than Chad anyway.

“Yuuri! Yuuri!” he all but yelled, trying to push himself into the booth.

“Ugh, go away,” Phichit hissed, shoving at Chad’s chest. He managed to send Chad sprawling across the floor where he knocked into another table, spilling drinks and sending glasses rattling.

Yuuri buried his face in his hands with a low moan, embarrassed beyond belief.

“Hey!” Chad lurched to his feet and waved angry hands at Phichit. “You can’t – you can’t do that.”

“Well, I did.” Phichit stood up, putting himself between Chad and the booth. It shouldn’t have been so intimidating since Phichit was two heads shorter than Chad, but what he lacked in stature, Phichit made up for in pure charisma and spite.

“You are not welcome here.”

“It’s my bar,” Chad whined petulantly.

Even from behind, Yuuri could tell Phichit was rolling his eyes. “It’s not your bar. Just go back to your seat and ignore us.”

For a moment, Yuuri thought Chad might do just that. Instead he scowled and shoved at Phichit, sending him flying to the side where he landed in the arms of another bar patron.

The man who’d caught Phichit glared at Chad even as he helped Phichit upright.

“Whatever is going on here, that was uncalled for.”

Chad scoffed. “I just wanted to enjoy my night out and he – he had to follow me!” Chad pointed at Yuuri, and Yuuri sank down in his seat. His face burned with humiliation. He knew he shouldn’t have come.

“He wasn’t following you.” Another man had joined the conversation, coming to stand behind the man who’d caught Phichit.

Yuuri glanced at him, then did a double take, his eyes going wide, the situation temporarily forgotten at the sight of the man. He was stunning, with silver hair that reflected the dim light of the bar so it looked like he was glowing.

“How would you know?” Chad lurched toward the two men.

Phichit stepped out of the way, and it became apparent that the two men were nearly equal in size to Chad, but also much more solidly built. Chad’s friends had disappeared, or never come in the first place, so it would be two against one. Even one against one would not have been a fair fight.

The silver haired man glanced at Yuuri. “He’s been sitting with his friends the entire time. Surely if he were here to follow you, then he’d actually be bothered to look at you.”

“What do you know!” Chad lurched up into the man’s face, making him wrinkle his nose and pull back.

“Plenty.” He stepped back, but Chad stepped forward again. This time the man’s face went hard, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

The first man reached out to set a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“For instance, that man-“ He pointed at Yuuri, making Yuuri cringe and squirm. “-is far too good for you. He clearly left you and wants nothing to do with you.” The man’s lip curled in disgust. “Not that I blame him.”

Chad gaped and then laughed. "Too good for me? He's so ugly, no one would marry him!"

Yuuri jerked, shocked and humiliated. His face burned even hotter and he sank down in the booth, covering his face with his hands. Around him his friends all started shouting, but it was the laughter of the silver haired man that stopped everyone from jumping Chad.

"What are you laughing at?" Chad snarled. He lurched toward the man, but his friend caught him with a hand to the chest.

The man turned a blinding smile on Chad. "Him - him I'd marry in a heartbeat. You, I wouldn't even let suck my dick if you paid me."

Yuuri stared at the stranger from between his fingers while Phichit and the others all burst out into laughter. Even the man's friend was laughing. Chad's face turned bright red, but before he could retaliate, a hand clamped on his arm. The bartender glared at him and dragged him away, chewing him out.

Yuuri stayed slunk down half beneath the table, but Phichit shoved him over. "Alright! You two are joining us! You're my new best friends."

"Hey!" Yuuri complained as he shifted over and pulled himself upright again.

Phichit waved him off. "Just for tonight."

"I'll buy the next round of drinks," Sara offered. She shoved at Mickey who, grudgingly, got out of the booth to go order a slew of drinks.

By the time he returned, Yuuri had learned that their new friends were named Viktor and Christophe - Chris. During the reshuffle of seats to let Mickey sit beside Sara again, Yuuri somehow ended up beside Viktor.

He smelled as good as he looked, and he kept turning blinding smiles on Yuuri.

Yuuri tossed back his shot and tried not to preen at the quiet, reverent "Wow" that came from beside him.

* * *

Viktor was certain he was dying. He had to be. He couldn't remember ever hurting this badly after a night out drinking. Maybe he was getting old. Was he getting old? Was his hair getting thinner? Yuri said it was, but Yuri also wore animal print.

Still, Viktor reached up to touch the top of his head without opening his eyes. Maybe it was getting thinner, he thought as he felt around. His elbow bumped into something, something which grunted angrily and rolled away.

Viktor opened his eyes and turned his head, slowly and carefully in deference of his blinding headache, to see another man in his bed. Viktor stared at the dark tufts of hair where they peeked over the edge of the sheets. He tried to think back; what had he done last night?

He remembered going to the bar with Christophe and seeing the most beautiful man. He remembered that man's ex picking a fight with him. He remembered sitting beside said man and learning that he was just as sweet - but also wickedly funny - as his looks indicated he might be.

He also, embarrassingly, remembered that he'd admitted to the whole bar that he would be willing to marry that man.

He wasn't lying, but the thought still made him cringe.

Now, hopefully the man in the bed with him was that man, was Yuuri.

The man in his bed groaned and rolled over, pushing down the covers to reveal a face scrunched up in irritation, eyes squinted shut, mouth twisted into a cranky frown. Viktor's breath caught in his chest as he realized that it was indeed Yuuri.

He could feel the smile stretching across his face as he watched Yuuri yawn and cover his face with his entire hand. Without opening his eyes, Yuuri dropped his hand back to the bed. He sighed and seemed to fall asleep again, his breathing slowing, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks slightly.

Viktor rolled over and settled more comfortably in the bed to stare at him, studying the minute details of his face.

Viktor put fingers to his mouth when Yuuri started to snore. It was then, with the unfamiliar press of metal against his chin, that Viktor realized he was wearing an accessory that he had not been last night.

Viktor held his hand out and discovered that a gold band sat snug against the third finger of his right hand. He shot up in the bed, eyes wide, lungs frozen.

Behind him Yuuri grunted. "What..."

A flurry of movement told him that Yuuri realized he was not in bed alone.

"Viktor?" he asked, sounding stunned.

Viktor didn't bother answering him. Instead he twisted around and reached for Yuuri's right hand. Yuuri jerked back, but not fast enough for him to get away. Viktor raised Yuuri’s hand and saw, glinting in the low light, a matching ring.

Yuuri stared at it too, his eyes wide. "What is that?" he whispered.

Viktor held up his hand to show him the matching ring. Yuuri's eyes darted between their hands. He squeezed his eyes shut, and Viktor realized how fast his breathing had gotten.

"Ah - are you okay?" he asked.

He put a hand on Yuuri's shoulder, but Yuuri pulled away. He stumbled out of the bed, barely catching himself on the nightstand.

"Bathroom," he rasped.

He lurched for the door that Viktor pointed to, slamming it shut behind him. Viktor sat in the bed, uncertain what to do until the clicking of Makkachin's toenails on the hardwood floor in the living room caught his attention.

Viktor got out of bed and dressed in a loose pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Makkachin waited in the doorway, panting lightly, her tail wagging slowly.

Viktor hesitated, then knocked on the bathroom door. "I'm going to take Makkachin - my dog - for a walk." He paused, but received no answer. "Make yourself at home," he finished, cringing.

Makkachin's walk was quick and easy, his dog finding the first patch of grass she could to do her business. He wondered if he'd taken her out when he'd gotten home last night. He usually manages it even when drunk, but he wasn't certain if Yuuri's presence would have changed things.

Pushing his concerns aside, Viktor let Makkachin lead him around the block. He paused to pick up a couple cups of coffee on the way back, hoping that Yuuri would still be there when he arrived.

He was. He was tucked into the corner of the couch, his knees drawn up to his chest.

As soon as her leash was off, Makkachin headed for him, pushing her head into his hand after a curious sniff, tail wagging fast enough to blur. Yuuri petted her carefully, and that was enough for Makkachin. She jumped up on the couch and rested her head against his shoulder, snuffling at Yurri’s ear.

Yuuri giggled, and the sound reverberated around Viktor's skull. He approached finally and held out the cup of coffee.

"Do you drink coffee?" he asked.

Yuuri looked away from where he had buried both hands in Makkachin's fur, his tentativeness forgotten. "Um... I do, but I shouldn't right now. Do you - um..."

When he trailed off, Viktor asked, "What do you normally drink?"

"Tea?"

"I have tea. Do you use jam?"

Yuuri's face twisted up in disgust. Viktor laughed and shook his head.

"I'll be right back."

Viktor carried both cups of coffee into the kitchen and set them by the sink. He busied himself with making tea and pulling out some crackers. Any time he peeked into the living room, Yuuri's focus was still on Makkachin, who had migrated into his lap.

Delighted, Viktor puttered around his kitchen, grinning to himself. Once the tea steeped, he carried a small try into the living room and set it on the coffee table before Yuuri before. He sat on the other side of the couch, Makkachin curled between them. His dog ignored him, but Viktor found he didn't mind.

He handed Yuuri his tea and then made his own up. At Yuuri's disgusted noise, Viktor shot him a snotty look, purposefully turning his nose up and earning another giggle.

They sat in silence, sipping their tea and indulging Makkachin when she'd whine for attention.

Yuuri was the first to broach the subject, his voice timid and shaking.

"Do... what do you think..." He trailed off.

"Happened?" Viktor finished.

Yuuri nodded.

"I'm not certain. I don't remember much after we joined you in your booth."

"Me either."

"I don't think we had sex," Viktor offered. He'd still been in his underwear and Yuuri had been fully dressed.

Yuuri chewed on his lip. He clutched at his tea cup and stared across the room, his expression distant. "What about the rings?" he managed eventually.

Viktor held out his hand and looked at it. From the corner of his eye, he could see Yuuri looking at it too. Slowly, Yuuri raised his hand and leaned over to hold them up side-by-side.

"They match," Viktor commented, though he'd already been certain of that.

"They certainly look like... uh..."

Viktor hummed. He tilted his hand around, watching as it caught the light. They did look like wedding bands: simple gold bands with a simple pattern of etched lines. He wasn't sure that meant anything though, not other than that they'd thought matching jewelry was a good idea.

"I don't think there are any one-night chapels around here," Viktor finally said, earning a strangled squeak.

Yuuri snatched his hand back. Viktor blinked, startled, and looked over to find Yuuri had covered his face with his hands. Between his fingers, Viktor could see the bright red flush that had taken him over.

He supposed he should be hurt, but Yuuri's reaction was more adorable than not.

"I could try googling it," he added and repressed laughter as Yuuri made another distressed noise and turned even darker.

A snort of laughter escaped him anyway and earned a deadly glare from between Yuuri's fingers.

"It's not funny!"

"I disagree."

"We barely know each other!"

"Well, that is that, though I'm certain I would love to get to know you."

"What." Yuuri dropped his hand finally and stared at Viktor, eyebrows furrowed, clearly perplexed.

"I had a lot of fun last night and you're adorable. And beautiful. And sexy."

Yuuri made a face, but the confusion had eased up. "Are you saying you want to date me?"

Viktor shrugged and grinned. "We're already engaged."

Yuuri rolled his eyes and covered his face again, but not quick enough to hide the laughter that escaped him.

* * *

**1 Year Later**

"We'd like to apply for a marriage license," Viktor told the clerk.

Next to him, Yuuri clutched his hand tightly. They were both grinning, more widely than was probably appropriate, but Viktor couldn't bring himself to care.

"Driver's licenses?" the clerk asked.

Both of them fished theirs out and handed them over. The woman tapped away at her computer, entering the information with practiced fingers.

"Divorce papers?"

"What?" Viktor's smile slipped while Yuuri went stock still next to him.

"He's showing as married. I can't issue a new license unless I document the divorce."

"I'm... not married," Yuuri protested.

The woman looked between them. "According to this you are."

"Can we get a copy of it? Who is the other person on it?"

The woman handed back their licenses. "It's a $25 fee to get a copy of an existing license, and we'll have to mail it to your home."

Yuuri looked at Viktor, but they both knew he would do it. He put away his license and pulled out his card. She accepted it, and then took his address - the address of their shared apartment.

It wasn't until they were in the car, already headed home that Yuuri spoke.

"Viktor... you don't suppose..."

"I'm not mad, if that's what you're worried about," Viktor said when Yuuri went quiet.

"No, I mean, I figured. But. There's only one time I would have had the opportunity to get married."

Viktor glanced over at Yuuri to find him giving him a significant look. It took a few more seconds to figure out what Yuuri was referring to. He turned into a nearby parking lot without bothering to see where they were.

"You think-" He gestured between them.

"We never checked," Yuuri pointed out. "We just assumed."

"Huh."

"We didn't even have her check you. We just got my information and left."

They stared at each other for a beat before they both burst into laughter. Yuuri leaned over and pressed his face against Viktor's shoulder.

"What if we've been married all this time?" he wheezed out.

Viktor only laughed harder.

It was no less funny when their year old marriage certificate arrived in the mail a week later.


End file.
